Teenagers R Us

Anyone else have teenage girls at their house? Well, here at our house we have two of them. They are marvelous creatures, really. Sometimes I just have to sit back and watch longingly as their youth vibrates off of them, shimmering like an aura with every step they take.They are self assured, confident and involved in all kinds of fabulous activities that I wouldn't dare attempt without concern for my physical well being. Their bodies are strong and lithe, yet to betray them with aches or pains from their arduous physical endeavours. They are also keenly aware of fashion trends. Out of frighteningly messy closets emerge entire outfits, coordinated from head to toe. I am in awe of all of this talent, and for brief moments seek to emulate their seemingly easy and carefree look. Alas, my lulu lemon pants win out on most days. My girls are taller than I, so they don't have much incentive to raid my closet, my personal fashion choices aside. They have, however, discovered my makeup cupboard.

Sleepy eyes the colour of sweet chocolate chips peer up at me over early weekday breakfasts, framed with glossy black liner. Lashes, impossibly long and alarmingly full are slick with shiny mascara nearly reaching perfectly arched eyebrows. Sparkles flit across smooth eyelids reminiscent of a tiny milky way. I sit across from these marvels while wearing my housecoat and eating a bowl of cereal in full contemplation mode. Somehow, they have taken my makeup and used it with an acumen and precision that continues to elude me. I don't want to discourage them from rifling through my makeup because I find the results enchanting, beguiling even. However, I must admit that I grow frustrated when I can't find my stuff!  On any given day I am liable to be missing my brush, my deodorant, my favourite eyeshadow, simply to name a few. I begin to believe I might be losing my mind and misplacing everything. A rampage around the house to locate my missing necessities ensues, and I realize that I might have to try a new tactic to get me through these years.

Source: Pinterest

So, in an effort to use humour rather than be a total nag, I have posted the following letter on my bathroom cabinet. You can read it in full format just beneath the picture.

Photo courtesy of one messy looking mom

Attention All Residents of Comfort Lane:

Please be advised that all items contained within this cupboard belong to Mrs. S.J. Brunette, furthermore to be referred to as “Mommy”.  Mommy has noticed an alarming trend whereby various items make an escape from the aforementioned cupboard. This is an ongoing mystery, yet some clues have arisen as to the identity of the suspects. Reports indicate that they look a lot alike so there is some confusion.

Mommy is happy to share. She is actually very good at doing so. Mommy would ask that in all further cupboard dealings, the following policy be strictly adhered to: ASK, TELL, RETURN.

1.     Ask – Please ask Mommy if items can be borrowed.

2.   Tell – Tell Mommy you are removing the item from said cupboard and provide an        approximation of length it will be in your care.

3.    Return – This perhaps is the MOST important step in the ASK, TELL, RETURN policy. Put each item back from whence it cometh. Where it was found, in the manner to which Mommy has become accustomed to storing said item. Thank you.

Mommy would like to remind you all that as your biological parent, she is a reflection of you while out in the community. Should Mommy be forced to run around town without having had a brush with which to comb her hair, some deodorant to keep her smelling like a rose, or makeup to enhance her natural beauty, you might find it a detriment to your burgeoning social lives. Imagine the shame you would suffer should Mommy bump into a cute fellow from your school while looking like a hedgehog and smelling rather foul.  It should be noted that Mommy would not hesitate to identify herself as the mother of Loulou and Mouse, regardless of appearance.  Especially now that Mommy is driving a car that puts her firmly in the “cool” camp. Mommy has an image to uphold.

Pursuant to the ASK, TELL, RETURN policy, please be made aware that should Mommy be forced to rummage through your bedrooms searching for items, she cannot be held responsible for any disruption that might ensue.  Furthermore, Mommy is hereby stating clearly that she is open to purchasing you each your own items to keep in your own bathroom. This purchase will not have to come from any allowance, as Mommy can see that you must have need for some specific things. Otherwise these items wouldn’t have grown feet and walked away from Mommy’s cupboard. Tell Mommy and she will purchase it! Easy? I think so.

In closing, Mommy would like to thank all residents for their anticipated cooperation. If you have any questions regarding this newly implemented policy, please feel free to contact Mommy. She is available every morning on the drive to school and can be found after school with a cup of tea in the sewing room. Looking forward to working with you all as we endeavor to keep our bathroom cupboards safe. Hugs, Mommy xo

There you are my lovelies!

Do you think this will work? So far it has generated a few laughs from the residents, but we will have to wait and see if it results in any meaningful and quantifiable change in behaviour. In the meantime, I am planning to continue to enjoy the journey I am on with the mystery twins. Who are they, and where did they come from? Manes of shiny dark hair, possessed of long legs, tall stature, and dark almond shaped eyes, they fail to resemble me in any way, shape or form. They clamour out of the car at school drop off without hesitation. They don't look back. They are on the journey forward, and I am thrilled just to be along for the ride. Isn't it amazing that as parents, we start out believing we have so much to teach our kids? I am finding the reverse is true. My beautiful girls continue to teach me more than I could ever hope to teach them, and not just about makeup.

Hoping you all have a day that starts out by being able to find your hairbrush. You'll be a step ahead of me!